{"id":177,"date":"2014-04-08T19:09:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-08T19:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ukmuppets.simple-webhosting.eu\/index.php\/the-way-to-calivals-heart\/"},"modified":"2014-04-08T19:09:00","modified_gmt":"2014-04-08T19:09:00","slug":"the-way-to-calivals-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/2014\/04\/the-way-to-calivals-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"The Way To CaliVal&#8217;s Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some women love jewellery, some love flowers and some love chocolates. Our hottie Val prefers something much more useful&#8230;knobs! In fact, plenty of them and the bigger the better. Now before all you pervy minded blokes start messaging her day and night, i&#8217;m talking about these kind of knobs:<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-JwfrUJqeWmo\/U0Q4u0wUHLI\/AAAAAAAABF0\/ZrZYFe7eSVk\/s1600\/CaliVal+wants+to+fuck+a+mixer.png\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-JwfrUJqeWmo\/U0Q4u0wUHLI\/AAAAAAAABF0\/ZrZYFe7eSVk\/s1600\/CaliVal+wants+to+fuck+a+mixer.png\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>There you have it lads, forget the flowers, forget the gold, go out and buy her a mixer, a big mixer mind, and you&#8217;ll have her g-spot throbbing like a jack hammer.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re on a first date with her and you already own one, just don&#8217;t fall asleep while she&#8217;s there:<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vzqrXe_6O4Q\/U0Q6jLBi1MI\/AAAAAAAABGA\/J3Hy9SicoDI\/s1600\/Calival+and+love+for+mixer.png\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vzqrXe_6O4Q\/U0Q6jLBi1MI\/AAAAAAAABGA\/J3Hy9SicoDI\/s1600\/Calival+and+love+for+mixer.png\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-bPAVIChuKB0\/U0Q6xfNksEI\/AAAAAAAABGI\/cga98D0qADs\/s1600\/CaliVals+dream+mixer.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-bPAVIChuKB0\/U0Q6xfNksEI\/AAAAAAAABGI\/cga98D0qADs\/s1600\/CaliVals+dream+mixer.jpg\" height=\"213\" width=\"320\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some women love jewellery, some love flowers and some love chocolates. Our hottie Val prefers something much more useful&#8230;knobs! In fact, plenty of them and the bigger the better. Now before all you pervy minded blokes start messaging her day and night, i&#8217;m talking about these kind of knobs: There you have it lads, forget&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=177"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ukmuppets.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}